Dear Mr.President,
I’m feeling pretty good, how about you? Everything is going great! We are Opening Up The Country Again (OUCA?). You told us you see a” light at the end of the tunnel” and “it’s getting brighter every day”. It’s time to break out the sunglasses. Things are so good that the USComfort (that big medical ship in New York harbor) is now going back to its base to get ready for “it’s next important mission”. The beaches are open in certain states, albeit, with some restrictions and tomorrow or the next day people in some states can finally get haircuts, pedicures and tattoos. I know for a fact that those are the first three things I want to get when Michigan relaxes the stay at home policy. For sure, the haircut.
Of course, I still have a few questions for you. You mentioned that you saw a little bit of some of the demonstrations that were going on in a few states but you saw people keeping their social distance. Did you see the demonstration in Michigan? Maybe you just heard the horns honking and you weren’t really looking but reading your briefing books. Those folks were not maintaining the social distance called for in the President’s Corona Task Force Guide to Slowing the Spread or the President’s Guide to Opening Up the Country Again. Those demonstrators seemed to really like you so maybe you could remind them about the guidelines. I don’t think they listen to Dr. Birx or read the website on what you expect. Also, they sounded a bit like some of the people in Charlottesville, Virginia. I know you learned that saying “good people on both sides” wasn’t a great slogan. My suggestion is you tell them you are working with the governors in a safe and healthy manner to restart economies. Maybe you could tell them to be patient for a bit longer and to check their mailboxes for the check you sent to them.
Another question for you is about your golf courses and other properties. You mentioned “my clubs”but then reminded yourself that your sons run them. Yes, they are closed and yes, the people who work there are home, but, are they being paid? Will they get their jobs back? Did your sons apply for any of the business loans or paycheck money to help out employees? I think that would be a nice gesture.
Also, one suggestion; the last two evenings of “briefings” (one and a half hours is a long time), you were pretty tame. There were only a few digs at media, China and past administrations and only about ten different brags about all the great stuff you have done. The word of the day was “TESTING”. It weighed in with about 25 hits. You hardly used “incredible” or “tremendous”. In short, you were boring and your ratings are going down. Maybe it is time to end these daily productions.
Dear Mr. President 