June 30 2020
Dear Mr. President,
The quiet week in Lake Woebegon got a lot less quiet today. I know you have a lot of things going on and probably a lot of decisions to make. We have discussed a few strategies to help you relax and I hope you have tried some of them. I offered you several ideas for controlling your anger as well. Do you remember my favorite? Write the person’s name on a piece of paper, press down super hard and even scribble it if you want or write in a Sharpie pen.Then tear the paper into little pieces and FLUSH them down the toilet!!! It really works. Please don’t write Dr. Fauci’s name on the paper. He is a treasure.
So, the new Russia thing. Remember my suggestion last Friday to not talk? I didn’t intend for that to continue forever. Your press person, Ms. McEnany, spoke on your behalf today and she is excellent at trying to pretend to take the high road. Still, this issue is not going away and you probably do need to talk- about Russia – not yourself. It’s simple, just saw “Russia, if you’re listening, stop it. Stop listening, stop messing with our elections and stop paying the Taliban to kill American soldiers.” Just say that and don’t keep blabbing about how tough you are or how you banned China from entering the US. Also, don’t invite him to any parties especially if those parties are with the G-7.
As far as the PDB (President’s Daily Briefing) and other intelligence briefings, here are some more thoughts. Ms. McEnany said “The President does read, and he also consumes intelligence – verbally”. Number 1, reading is good. Sometimes you also need to re-read an article or highlight the important parts or even think about it some more. Number 2, I don’t think the intelligence briefings are supposed to give you solutions to every problem. Don’t you have a staff who can come up with some possibilities of what to do with the information? Number 3, if you prefer getting the information verbally that is totally ok. Many children and adults have a preferred method of learning. Some are visual learners, some are auditory learners and some need movement or some other physical activity to help them concentrate and understand the material. Tweeting or texting doesn’t count. There is no one right way and most people use a combination of approaches to learning, especially difficult concepts.
I know you are worried about leaks but don’t eat the papers. I don’t think that’s what Ms.McEnany meant by “consuming intelligence”. You know what would happen if you consumed them…..they would just comes out another way.