August 26, 2020
Dear Mr. President,
After watching most of last night’s festivities, I have some more great ideas for you and your campaign. The first is leave your kiddos out of the limelight. They are terrible speakers. The boys sound exactly alike so the speech from the second kid sounded exactly like the speech from the first kid and neither one was good. They punched the air with one hand in an effort to look tough, but I wasn’t convinced that they are. Also, I think I saw spittle flying so it was good that there weren’t any people in front of them. Maybe they are trying to show you that they are chips off the old block. Your daughter was okay and congratulations on her graduation from law school. Her efforts to relate to other students having difficulty finding jobs if they graduated fell a bit flat. She acknowledged her privileges without mentioning the student debt that most graduates have. Still, at least she smiles. The boys just look creepy.
Here’s another idea based on what was shown last night. You pardoned a very impressive guy for his past crimes, even though he had been pardoned by his state, on display for the entire country. You oversaw the swearing in of some new citizens in the White House, even people from places you have called “S-Hole countries”. You welcomed home several people who were imprisoned in other countries and they thanked you personally. So, how about if you tour the country and do a nice thing for more individuals. You could randomly visit a city and pay the rent for an entire apartment building and then film each family personally thanking you. You could go to a high school and teach a class on government, then take pictures with students and their tests with big A’s written in a black Sharpie. Black Sharpies matter! Your campaign could show these events to celebrate your care and empathy for all Americans, or at least those who will show their appreciation with their vote.
The evening ended with Melania’s speech in the Rose Garden in front of a nice sized audience who were slightly socially distanced. Some even wore masks, thus showing how seriously they take your efforts to control the DT virus. Melania reminded us that immigrants come to this country to make better lives for themselves, not necessarily to start gangs. She explained how her Be Best efforts are spreading all over the world and how kind and loving she is. Really, her speech was fine. It reminded me of our 8th grade English class where we gave what were called Demonstration Speeches, showing our classmates how to do something. It’s where I learned to iron a shirt, thanks to my friend, Dale. What makes a successful speech is slow, careful language, eye contact with your audience, and a clear explanation of your message. Melania’s message is Be Best, take care of your child, however old he or she is, and watch out for social media negativity.
I hope these ideas are useful for you. By the way, does the Rose Garden still have roses in it?