June 14 2020
Dear Mr. President,
This will be just a quick note to thank you for caring for all Americans as much as you do. I know you were concerned when I wrote about being nauseous and, you know, I don’t need to spell it out. I’m not pregnant (that would be a real miracle) and whatever it was is gone and I’m fine. You didn’t need to call or write to check on me. I know your heart and how much it cares for all of us and how much we care about you. So, let’s discuss your health for a minute.
You have had several tough weeks of dealing with weak mayors and governors who seem to love their cities, states and citizens so much that they want to continue to help them. You have had to deal with Biblegate and defend your freedom to hold the Bible any way you want. You had to pretend not to hear Dr. Faucci warn us that the “you know what virus” isn’t over and numbers are rising in many areas. Finally, you started to plan your own events now that you realize Ivanka and Hope should not do the planning. There’s a lot on your plate. How’s your blood pressure?
It’s none of my business what medications you take (except the two weeks on the H- drug). But, surely, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure must be of some concern. Maybe the first is from your diet and lack of exercise but the second must be affected by your angry outbursts, lack of control of negative emotions and yelling or really loud tweeting. I would like to offer one solution to being so mad at so many people (besides the deep breathing that we already discussed). It has the added attraction of being fun! I used this with a lot of middle schoolers and they loved this idea. Here it is: right down the person’s name on a piece of paper. You can press really hard, even so hard that the paper rips a little. Then tear the paper into little tiny pieces and, here’s the best part, FLUSH THE PAPER DOWN THE TOILET. Right? Wasn’t that fun?
So, OKLAHOMA – O K L A H O M A. Have you been singing the song? “Where the waving wheat, can sure smell sweet, when the wind comes right behind the rain”. Is there a verse about Covid-19 and no masks, a closed environment and a lot of time for you to expel fluids?
June 13 2020
Dear Mr. President,
I know it’s Shabbat but the letter I was writing to you yesterday afternoon was interrupted by a bout of nausea and vomiting. I don’t think it was related to what you were doing or saying or tweeting, but I haven’t ruled anything out. Anyhow, I feel better today even though I’m still worried and a little nauseous from the news about an increase in Covid-19 cases and deaths and, well, everything else.
I do have to apologize for misrepresenting your trip to Dallas. I wrote that you were there for a roundtable on Transition to Greatness: Restoring, Rebuilding and Renewing. That’s what was on the official President’s Daily Schedule. But, it seemed to be, instead, about race relations and policing. If so, was there a reason not to have the Dallas Police Chief, the Dallas County Sheriff and the District Attorney present at that “discussion”. Did you know -or did your campaign staff or “advisors” know they are all African Americans? It seems like they should have been there, but the schedule makers made a big mistake. Also, whomever writes the President’s Daily Schedule didn’t get the message that the “discussion” was about a different topic. It turned out that the real reason you were there was campaign fundraising at someone’s house. So, the other stuff wasn’t really important anyway.
This leads me to ask you about your advisors. They all seem to be have terrible advice, poor information and do sloppy planning. First, Ivanka and Hope encouraged you to show off a Bible in a picture that has already become mocked and criticized around the globe. So, don’t let them plan any more photo ops. Then, someone planned your upcoming rallies in states that are experiencing much higher infection and hospitalization rates than even a few weeks ago. That seems like a bad idea. It’s as if they didn’t think this all the way through. Telling people not to wear masks and to sign waivers that if they get sick they won’t sue you. Everyone knows that you don’t like looking at, or wearing, masks but the waivers are also not a good look. Well, the bad idea is having rallies right now but you really, really need to feel the love, so, go for it. What could possibly go wrong?
I was going to talk about your speech writers…..but, I’ve got nothing. They have some fancy language but they are never original or poetic or – well, interesting. What I am trying to say is they are BORING and you look weird trying to read off of a teleprompter. It just isn’t you. Please, be yourself. Use your own words and “thoughts”. I love the comparison you made between you and President Lincoln that you said in a recent interview. “I’ve done more for the Black community than any other president including President Lincoln”. “He did good…although it’s always questionable, you know, the end result”. It’s so you! How about the recent quote from Dallas on racism, “We have to get everyone in the same path…I think we’re going to do it very easily and it will go quickly and it will go very easily”. Last, but never the end of great quotes that really show off your personality and skills, “We are dominating the streets with compassion because we’e saving lives, saving business.”
At least you changed the date of the upcoming Tulsa, Oklahoma rally from June 19, also known as Juneteenth to the next day. Everyone will know how sensitive you are to the history of that day.
If you just stick to your guts and brains you will do fine. Your base will love you and eat it up…..if they don’t get sick and …….
June 9 2020
June 4 2020