Dear Mr. President – July 21, 2020

July 21, 2020
Dear Mr. President,
You are starring in the new season of “Corona Virus, Attack of the Invisible Enemy”. Unfortunately, due to my busy social schedule, I may not be able to watch it live, but it will probably be on YouTube or On Demand. I thought it might be fun for you and viewers to play a couple of new games I thought of during the show.
The first game is called “Name the Topic”. Even though the previews say this will be a show dedicated to the Corona Virus, other topics may arise. Before you start the show, the viewers can take a piece of paper, a writing utensil and make columns or keep tallies on which words will have the most use. Melania can keep score for you. Examples can be “best”, “ever”, “China”, “incredible”, “ventilators”, “Fascist” or “Antifa” or “Communist” or “radical”. You can have a separate column for nicknames, you already know some of them. There will be extra credit for “Women in Arms”.
The next game is actually a new mental acuity test. Everyone can play. Here are the rules. The questions are multiple choice and there may be more than one correct answer. Wikipedia or Google will not be allowed. You may ask for help from the audience or phone a friend.
Questions:
1. Who knows the most about the novel Corona Virus?
a) You
b) Dr. Fauci
c) VPPence
d) Governor DeSantis
2. How is the virus spread?
a) Droplets in the air
b) By breathing
c) By osmosis
d) No one really knows
3. What is the purpose of widespread testing?
a) To discover the rate of infection in a given area
b) To look for infections in people without symptoms
c) To trace the spread of the virus
d) To make you look bad
4) What does “Mortality Rate” mean?
a) Low rates are due to not testing and we have the best testing
b) The USA has the lowest rate of ANYWHERE
c) Who cares?
d) Rates of death per thousands of people
5) What can be done to slow the virus spread now?
a) Everyone must wear a mask when outside and no way to be apart
b) Stay 6 feet from other people
c) Get a tattoo that says “Slow the Spread”
d) Believe in magic
Extra Credit Questions (but these will be harder)
6) Why are people mourning Rev. CT Vivian and Rep. John Lewis?
a) They were icons of the Civil Rights Movement
b) They were dedicated to equal rights
c) They provided moral compasses for all
d) Unsure
7) What will happen on January 20, 2021?
a) Uniformed people in unmarked black vans will patrol the streets of D.C.
b) There will be the biggest parade EVER in D.C.
c) There will be a padlock on the White House doors
d) There will be a smooth transition of power between D. Trump and J. Biden

Dear Mr. President – July 20, 2020

July 20, 2020
Dear Mr. President,
I like to check in with you after a lovely weekend of golf, relaxation and maybe some visits with friends. It looks like you may need some new friends. There are some folks on the Fox network who don’t seem to have your back anymore. You even mentioned during the interview with Chris Wallace that you don’t like Fox so much since Roger Ailes left. Since he left, under disgrace, in 2016, before you were “elected” president, and died three years ago, why do you still watch that channel? You frequently call in to shows and give all your interviews to them. So why did you agree to an interview with Chris Wallace, who is known as an excellent journalist and who asks tough questions. I didn’t watch the entire interview, but I have seen and heard and read portions. I’m guessing he didn’t give you the questions ahead of time, but you should have known that they were coming. I would have thought you would be better prepared to discuss the issues around the Corona Virus. By now you have to know that testing doesn’t cause cases, it just exposes them. By now, you should know that it isn’t going away. By now, you should know that the country needs stronger, clearer guidelines about masks, testing, tracing, etc. Good grief, by now you should know that Dr. Fauci has very high numbers of people who trust what he says. And, by now, you should stop saying you did two things early on, banning people from China to enter the country (except for about 400,000 who did enter) and being overly confident that it was “under control”. By the way, apparently the virus that landed on the East Coast came from Europe. It’s now six months later so this information has reached its’ Sell By date.
I know you are frustrated by all the attention given to the virus, “The Invisible Enemy”, but drop nickname, it’s no longer funny. You keep mentioning the “embers” that will be very easily put out. You told Chris Wallace, “I say flames, we’ll put out the flames. And we’ll put out in some cases just burning embers. We also have burning embers. We have embers and we do have flames. Florida became more flame like, but it’s …it’s going to be under control”. Again, I have to ask, you knew you would be asked a question about the spread of the disease and this is your answer? It hardly makes sense and it’s not under control, but you could say you have the biggest embers, EVER! You went on to say that” Biden can’t put two sentences together”. Unfortunately, many of your sentences in this interview were “not put together”. Did you check in with Melania after the interview? What did she say when you asked how you did?
Finally, the question about the test you took that you said you “Aced”. You know that many people have taken that test. It’s not an IQ test but one to screen for mental acuity. It’s a SCREENING test. The questions are simple, but some people have difficulty finding the right words (not the best words, just the ones that accurately describe an animal or object). The part where the examiner gives you 5 words and you have to repeat them in order is to screen for problems with short term memory. Do you remember what the 5 words were? If you “aced” the test I’m thinking they were a) “Russia”, “Hoax”, “Lock” “Her” “UP”. No? Maybe they were “Don”, “Eric”, “Ivanka”, “Tiffany”, “Barron”. No? How about, “The””Virus” “Will” “Magically” “Disappear”. Ah, that’s what they were.

Dear Mr. President – July 17, 2020

July 17, 2020
Dear Mr. President,
I hope you have a nice weekend planned. Are you golfing at one of your clubs? You probably need a rest after this long, hard week where you worked so diligently. I check your schedule every day and notice that sometimes there are only one or two “Public Events”, so what else do you do? I know you have chats with Fox hosts and probably lots of phone calls to friends. Sometimes there is a lunch with VPPence but he went on a road trip today. Occasionally you get an intelligence briefing or a visit from AGBarr. Yesterday you delivered remarks on “Rolling Back Regulations to Help All Americans”. That was, according to you, part of the campaign that” saved our oil companies” because they “had a hard time a number of months ago -and frankly, for a long time -but we’ve saved them. But $1.99, they were telling me and, in some cases, lower than that.” Um, that’s not a sentence and I don’t know what you are talking about. Today’s event was at 11:30 this morning. It was a “Credentialing Ceremony for Newly Appointed Ambassadors to Washington D.C.” Is this like a welcoming brunch for ambassadors from other countries who came here to work in embassies? It looks like the only ambassador was Fernando Oris de Roa from Argentina. Great, welcome to the United States, ambassador.
I was reminiscing about your campaign in 2016 and your promise that “We will win so much you will get tired of winning”. I think a lot of people may have reached that point. For example, we are “winning” at having the most infections and deaths from the Covid 19 of any other country in the world. Apparently, we are “winning” at having the most tests EVER of Everyone. You said 40 million tests yet so many states are reporting problems with testing. It seems like there are lots of reasons for the problems including not getting test results back for days. Oh, and waiting in lines for hours to get the testing. Oh, and being refused a test due to no symptoms. I think people are ready and willing to give up this kind of winning. Plus, you want to stop testing so we won’t win too much.
We are winning at having ventilators! We have the best ventilators and there are so many that we are sending them to other countries. Those countries don’t need as many anymore because they seemed to have slowed the spread of the virus way more than we have. Can you get them back because we may need them in Florida, Texas, California and all across the South and up the West coast. I saw the map that shows those states in RED. It looks like a big RED “L “(for Loser?) not a “W “(for winning) across more than a dozen states. Sigh, we are tired of winning.
Finally, we are a bit tired of winning with the “best people”. We’ve discussed VPPence and his rosy statements that “we have flattened the curve” when we are breaking new records on numbers of positive tests every day. He is the best person to brag about all your accomplishments although he is so boring it’s hard to remember what he said. We have also talked about your incredible, unbelievable (I mean that literally) Secretary of Education, Ms. DeVos. Is she still working on a plan to open all schools? Finally, you have the best daughter, Ivanka. We don’t know much about the other daughter so maybe she is the best too. But, Ivanka is a real winner but we may be getting tired of her. She is the best at finding photo ops that people continue to talk about. First there was the photo of you holding the Bible. Now it’s the photo of you and her holding up cans of food products so we are winning the war on beans!
Have a great weekend. I bet you will WIN any golf game you play. By the way, did you know your niece is winning by selling more books in one day (almost a million) than John Bolton sold in a week! Who’s tired of winning? Not me.

Dear Mr. President – July 16, 2020

July 16, 2020
Dear Mr. President,
I think I may have been too hard on you recently. You know how much I want to help you. You need all the help you can get. Things are not going very well and some of your helpers/advisors/family members are also not helpful. For example, the picture of Ivanka holding up a can of Goya black beans was hilarious, but not helpful. Ana Navarro (not related to Peter Navarro, but, a Republican strategist and commentator) wrote that “No Latin Would Cook Black Beans in White Silk”. Then there was the picture of you and a Resolute Desk full of Goya products. It would have been a lot more effective to have a picture of Ivanka cooking a dish that included the can of beans and then another of you eating that dish. Also, promoting specific products in your official capacities is kind of a breach of the ethics code, not that it matters to you.
Speaking of Peter Navarro, it would have been more helpful if he had not written an OpEd about Dr. Fauci that was full of alternative facts, also known as lies, and misleading facts. You ask, what is a misleading fact? So, back in March, when Dr. Fauci said we didn’t need to wear masks he was talking about the hospital masks, N95, that were then in short supply and desperately needed in hospitals. Dr. Fauci also warned us in February and March that things could change as the scientists and doctors learned more about the virus. In other words, Peter Navarro, not a public health expert should let the public health experts speak about public health.
Your administration and campaign staff needed a bit of a shakeup so it’s good to read you switched some of the positions around. You always said you would have “the best people” working for you. You seem to have run out of some of the “best people” but it’s great that you have found new ones to help out. The folks at the CDC are some of the best and most experienced around so just leave them alone to deal with the virus. Actually, you don’t need to even mention that enemy because it won’t help you get any new voters. It’s best to leave that battle to the experts and maybe VPPence. Then, if he screws up, you can put all the blame on him. You could also find someone other than Betsy DeVos. She seems to have forgotten to do her homework on how to safely open schools.
So, back to trying to help you. We’ve discussed practicing a speech so you pronounce all the words correctly, and taking acting lessons to widen your emotional pitch beyond rage. We’ve also discussed trying to get your facts right, especially historic facts, and even accepting responsibility for the actions of your administration. It looks too cowardly to blame everything that goes wrong on someone else and I know how brave and strong you really are. Yes, Mr. President, you are so strong and brave, the strongest and bravest president Ever! Just look at your punim (Yiddish for face) when you make your strong and brave face. I just have one suggestion for that pose. Don’t make that face while folding your arms around yourself so tightly that you squish yourself. Maybe, do the muscle pose, you know, both arms bent at a 45- degree angle, with fists and sort of bent over flexing your pecs. That would be impressive.
I look forward to hearing from you or, if you are too busy, seeing if you take up any of my suggestions. By the way, I like the new color of your hair. It’s that shade of blue/grey that a lot of older women use, very distinguished.

Dear Mr. President – July 13, 2020

July 13 2020
Dear Mr. President,
Every day I try to learn new things; it’s a great way to face each morning with optimism and hope. Today I learned that, Chuck Woolery, a host of the tv show Wheel of Fortune, is an expert on medicine, epidemiology and politics. I didn’t know he was a host of that show! I actually never even watched the show. He explained that the “CDC, the Media, Democrats, our Doctors, not all, but most” are not to be trusted. They apparently are all working together to defeat YOU in November. Who knew? They must be Zooming with each other every day to plan what to say and how to lie to the American People. You retweeted his words so it seems like this game show host is your new expert on the President’s Corona Virus Task Force. I can’t wait to read about his advice on what to do with the spike of cases in Florida, Texas, Arizona, California and all over the country.
Over the weekend I learned how smart the Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos is. She had some great advice on how to get all students back in classrooms with teachers along with all the other staff members. I wasn’t really clear on what her plans are, especially on how to do it with contingencies for outbreaks of disease. Perhaps you can explain it more clearly. Did we get the answers to how to do this in a safe manner? She said something like “it’s been done in the private sector” so schools can use those suggestions, options or ideas? Is that what she meant? Also, her threats to take money away from schools and give it to parents to send their children to other schools were very confusing. Maybe I didn’t learn as much as I thought I did.
I also studied some law over the weekend. It’s common knowledge that the President has complete powers to commute people convicted of crimes and to exonerate them if they are already in prison.What I didn’t know was how completely slimy it is to commute Roger Stone. The legal experts and even your political advisors all thought it was a terrible idea to commute his sentence. But, he is such a good friend of yours so I guess it is okay.
There is so much more to learn about. I’m going to spend part of today reading about code breaking by a woman named Elizabeth Smith Friedman who, along with her husband, William Friedman, led the way in code breaking and United States intelligence services. The book is called The Woman Who Smashed Codes by Jason Fagone. Then, I plan to get started on studying Ibram X. Kendi’s book on How To Be An Antiracist. Do you want me to send the books to you next?

Dear Mr. President – July 10, 2020

July 10 2020
Dear Mr. President,
First of all, thank you for the birthday greetings for my husband who is happy that we have started a Pen Pal relationship. He doesn’t write but he often shares his thoughts with me to share with you.
Second, how about sharing your advice on tax preparations? We are fine, thanks for asking, but with the extended Tax Filing Day ( aka “alternative April 15”) so many people are wondering about how to go about filing this year. They will probably also wonder about filing next year too. Did you manage to get your taxes done? Do you itemize charitable donations? Also, I know this is private but lots of people want to know, how much do you budget for clothing, specifically Melania’s? You seem to have one suit and a bunch of red ties so your costs are probably low, but it looks like Melania only wears clothes once so her budget must be huge.
I read about the Supreme Court cases decided yesterday but I really don’t understand the details. It sounds like you sort of lost and sort of won and nobody will see your past returns any time soon. It sure makes one wonder where Our tax dollars are going- “small business” loans to friends and families of you and your peeps, a border wall that seems to be falling into the Rio Grande, and hotel bills for Secret Service agents at your resorts! Did you know that the Kushner family (your son-in-law) received millions?So did the Church of Scientology!!! Also, 1 million dollars of YOUR tax payer money went to support 41 jobs at a company owned by one of Your major fundraisers!
Third, let’s go back to the issue of schools. Oy!! Actually, Oy vey iz mir- that means really OY! Ms. DeVos- not helpful, really not helpful. Really, really not helpful. Your threats are also really, really not helpful or even doable. I can’t stress this enough!!! Open next month???? Are you KIDDING!!! It would probably help to focus on the public health crisis and leave education to health experts, educational experts and parents. What if schools were delayed a few months until they got enough money to retrofit the buildings and busses and hire new staff and handle a gizzilion other issues? Then you could have time to find a working a magic wand and end the health crisis.
In the meantime, be safe, wash your hands, stay socially distant (even at the private fund raiser you have today) and WEAR A MASK!

 

 

Dear Mr. President – July 8, 2020

July 8 2020
Dear Mr. President,
Let’s talk about education. You and the First Lady led a “discussion” about the importance of getting our nation’s school opened again for the Fall. Brilliant. Most of the parents and kids and teachers and bus drivers and administrators and secretaries and aides and janitorial staff and school nurses, social workers, speech therapists and hall monitors and cafeteria workers and before and after school care givers hadn’t thought about returning to schools for months. Everyone just thought the new normal would be plenty of free time to play video games. But you and the First Lady reminded us of the importance of schools in our lives. Thank you so much for that insight.
After all, it is July. Time to start planning the school year.
So, how do we do this safely? Isn’t that the real question? Well, it’s one of the thousands of questions and details that need to be worked on. Did you know that most school districts and colleges and universities have been working on plans since March? Everyone agrees that it’s better for everyone with children in school. I know you thought that Democrats don’t want the schools open because they want to defeat you in the November election. I really don’t think that is the reason they want to defeat you, pretty sure there are other reasons. Also, I’m pretty sure even Antifa wants students back in school. Also, please don’t blame teachers who are worried about returning safely. Lots of teachers catch colds and flu from the students during the early part of the school year. The kids may not be so sick but it is hard for teachers and other adults. That may be one of the reasons the Corona Virus scares them.
Usually the start of school is the late summer, early fall. I believe that the traditional school year had something to do with farmers needing help in the fields during the growing season. That seems a bit 19th century, doesn’t it? Things have really changed since you were in K-12. Computers, school ID’s with pictures, and other technology make certain kinds of learning very different from what you experienced and make it way harder to cheat on SAT’s.
I read part of the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations for opening schools. It’s very complicated and detailed. There are the usual “wash your hands”, “stay 3-6 feet apart” (depending on the age of the student) and wear “face coverings” (that means masks). The CDC guidelines and Department of Education are somewhat vague and very confusing. Most of the states have also issued plans that are flexible, based on current data and information and open to change. Your advice was “open and don’t make the guidelines too tough or expensive”. Then you threatened to take away money from districts that didn’t open. None of that was helpful.
Look, we all know that you want the economy to bounce back so you can run your campaign on that issue and for that you need the school to be open. Things may not really get going until the “Unseen Enemy” is under better control in many states. You and Ms. DeVos’s comments are not as helpful to local districts as they could be. The governors and local officials are telling you what they need and it is not threats. Most teachers know some behavior modification techniques and use them. The most important one is Rewarding Desirable Behavior, not spewing insults, threats or drivel. Everyone knows schools need to be open. The devil is in the details.
Also, teachers have had months to work on indoctrination methods and are anxious to get going on them again.

Dear Mr. President – July 6, 2020

July 6 2020
Dear Mr. President,
How was your weekend?
You seemed to have had a lot of fun both in South Dakota and in Washington. I didn’t know how much you love South Dakota! Had you been there before, maybe on camping trips or had you previously been to Mount Rushmore? It was too bad you couldn’t learn more about the complexity of that site and how it is still on disputed land stolen from the Native Americans who own it. By the way, Is there still room for you on the mountain? You seem to be practicing your granite face quite often. Perhaps that’s the look you would like to see carved into a rock. Did you have the opportunity to visit the monumental sculpture of Chief Crazy Horse? I’ve never been there but it would be something to see and I’d love to learn more about this hero and “visionary leader who fought to preserve his people’s traditions and way of life”. (Biography.com). Well, you don’t have that much free time to stroll through a museum or learn more about the history of these two mountains and the people, and the sculpturers. Maybe after retirement you can return and learn more.
I also didn’t know how much you love planes! There sure were a lot of them at the air show. The fly overs lasted for a long, long time and were pretty cool. We’ve seen the Blue Angels a few times. They used to do shows at the Yankee Air Museum in Ypsilanti, MI. Did you know that this museum is dedicated to the B-52’s and other aircraft, especially from World War II. It’s quite an amazing place. By the way, it also celebrates Rosie the Riveter – and all the women who are represented by her.
And then there were the speeches. Sigh. I didn’t hear all of them but I heard a bit that your PR person, Ms.McEnanay, (I think I have learned how to spell her name although not to pronounce it) told us about today. She said “your messages were defining, unifying and patriotic” and showed a vision of a “future with a strong military, safer communities, great education, housing and low taxes and an America respected by the rest of the world.” Oh! I heard they were rambling, dividing and weirdly ignoring reality (while still saying yeah for much of our history, just not the racist, xenophobic parts). I am very curious about the education part. You said “our children are being indoctrinated by the teachers to hate our country”. Well, this is news to me! I spent 30 years in education as a school social worker and never saw anything resembling indoctrination or hatred. I also spent about 18 years as a student in public schools and never had that experience. Did you? Are you now saying that teachers, TEACHERS???? are the enemy of our country? TEACHERS??? You have got to be kidding although if this were a joke it really fell flat. You mentioned that teachers should teach children to” cherish and adore their country”. Okay. Have you spoken to any of the parents of children who have recently spent lots of time on Zoom with teachers? Are the parents complaining about indoctrination? Most of what I’ve heard from parents is “Thank G-d for teachers!!” They are also essential workers and our heroes.
As far as monuments and Confederate flags and all that stuff…..you may be confusing respect for country with idolatry. Check your Bible….idolatry is one of the big sins.
By the way, why weren’t you and Melania singing along to “G-d Bless America”. Don’t you know the words?

Dear Mr. President – July 2, 2020

July 2 2020
Dear Mr. President,
Time really flies. July!! Before you know it the summer will be over, the pools will close and the kids will be back in school. Maybe. Or, we will still be wearing masks (or as you like to call them “facial coverings”), observing social distancing, worrying about each other and how friends, family and members of our community are doing.
After last week I was thinking of cutting back on my letters to you. Then I decided that if you have intelligence briefings 2 or 3 times a week then maybe I will write 2 or 3 times a week. But, since I have so many thoughts, worries, questions and ideas for you the letters will continue as often as I need to get all of this off my chest. I hope that is okay with you.
The new Russia thing seems to be a tough problem or at least a tough “fake” problem to deal with. I really have no good suggestions for you except READ YOUR BRIEFINGS and listen carefully when your briefer tells you what you need to know. There will be a final exam, probably in November, and you may want to study a little bit harder than you have been.
You seem to be so happy about the job numbers that came out today. I worry that you may be disappointed if “good” numbers don’t grow so much in the next few months. Remember, the last two weeks of Corona virus infections have been awful and they are still rising. The rise is like a rocket ship taking off….straight up. I know you hope they will come straight down but what if they don’t? Do you have plan B or C or D?
The tweets during the last few days seemed to be particularly focused on stone monuments of Confederate generals. How long have you had a “thing” for Confederate generals? Did you learn about them when you went to military school? Here’s an idea: a lot of people don’t know anything about these people, especially those of us who live in the North. There are probably Southerners who don’t know much about their contributions to the Confederacy or why they were honored for fighting against the United States of America. You could do a real service to the young people of this country by writing some biographies of a few of them. Please include a paragraph about their early years, another paragraph about why they wanted to rebel against our government and more paragraphs on why they thought kidnapping people, tearing families apart, and forcing other people to work for them without pay, without any rights to freedom and without treating them like human beings was their right. The biographies could go into your Presidential Library. Just remember, spelling counts.

Dear Mr. President – June 30, 2020

June 30 2020
Dear Mr. President,
The quiet week in Lake Woebegon got a lot less quiet today. I know you have a lot of things going on and probably a lot of decisions to make. We have discussed a few strategies to help you relax and I hope you have tried some of them. I offered you several ideas for controlling your anger as well. Do you remember my favorite? Write the person’s name on a piece of paper, press down super hard and even scribble it if you want or write in a Sharpie pen.Then tear the paper into little pieces and FLUSH them down the toilet!!! It really works. Please don’t write Dr. Fauci’s name on the paper. He is a treasure.
So, the new Russia thing. Remember my suggestion last Friday to not talk? I didn’t intend for that to continue forever. Your press person, Ms. McEnany, spoke on your behalf today and she is excellent at trying to pretend to take the high road. Still, this issue is not going away and you probably do need to talk- about Russia – not yourself. It’s simple, just saw “Russia, if you’re listening, stop it. Stop listening, stop messing with our elections and stop paying the Taliban to kill American soldiers.” Just say that and don’t keep blabbing about how tough you are or how you banned China from entering the US. Also, don’t invite him to any parties especially if those parties are with the G-7.
As far as the PDB (President’s Daily Briefing) and other intelligence briefings, here are some more thoughts. Ms. McEnany said “The President does read, and he also consumes intelligence – verbally”. Number 1, reading is good. Sometimes you also need to re-read an article or highlight the important parts or even think about it some more. Number 2, I don’t think the intelligence briefings are supposed to give you solutions to every problem. Don’t you have a staff who can come up with some possibilities of what to do with the information? Number 3, if you prefer getting the information verbally that is totally ok. Many children and adults have a preferred method of learning. Some are visual learners, some are auditory learners and some need movement or some other physical activity to help them concentrate and understand the material. Tweeting or texting doesn’t count. There is no one right way and most people use a combination of approaches to learning, especially difficult concepts.
I know you are worried about leaks but don’t eat the papers. I don’t think that’s what Ms.McEnany meant by “consuming intelligence”. You know what would happen if you consumed them…..they would just comes out another way.