Dear Mr. President,
Happy Juneteenth! Aren’t you proud of teaching us all about the significance of this day? You should be. It appears that NOBODY on your campaign (or you) knew anything about this “holiday”. You taught them that people in Texas finally heard about the Emancipation Proclamation (President Lincoln- he did some good things for African Americans). The day celebrates the liberation of those people still held in slavery. The day has been celebrated all over the country in many communities for years. You called it a holiday and it is a holiday with a great deal of meaning and pride. Not the same kind of holiday you have playing with your golf clubs at your golf clubs. Ha…..it’s little joke, two meanings for golf clubs. Get it? But still, you did a good deed teaching so many about the history of this day and making the day “very famous”.
There was only one meeting on your official schedule today and that was your “intelligence briefing “. I wish you could share some of that information. I was wondering about the situation with drug smugglers in Antwerp (That’s in Belgium – near France). Do these smugglers have anything to do with the “bad guys” from South and Central America that you and AGBarr told us you were chasing? It was about two months ago so maybe you forgot about that mission. How about the situation on the China-India border. It’s pretty far away from the United States but the leaders of both countries are good buddies with you. Maybe you could make a deal with them that would lead to peace. It might earn you a Nobel Prize!!!! You know, the prize that President Obama won in 2009 for “his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between people”. You thought you might get the prize after meeting with Kim Jung Un but that kinda fell apart. Not much luck with Jarod and the Middle East either. Keep working on the prize. You have a few more months.
You probably too busy planning for your trip to Tulsa, Oklahoma tomorrow to have any other meetings. The party should be lots of fun for you and for the lucky folks who are spending hours in a closed building with about 19,000 other people.. Some might wear masks, but I bet most don’t, unless the masks have your picture on them. There’s a good idea for fund raising.Sell the masks at your parties, or the gift shops in your hotel. Or, ship them to China, Turkey, Russia and North Korea. You would make a fortune. If the masks are made in China you could also save on shipping costs.
You should be prepared for hot, muggy weather and rain!. If Melania or Ivanka go with you they should wear sleeveless or take an umbrella. Also, be careful to wear shoes with soles that grip in case there are slippery ramps. It’s probably a good thing you will be indoors.
I am sure you and the campaign folks are super excited but you don’t seem to be getting love from the people who’s advice you are dissing. The Secret Service seems worried. You ignored the advice of doctors, public health officials and various newspapers, governors, mayors and sentient human beings. You might call them, “losers”, “Never Trumpers” or “weak”. Despite those names, they might be right. Make sure all the waivers are signed and notarized.
What’s up with the Tweets about protestors? Do you think that “protestors”, anarchists, agitators, looters or lowlifes are synonyms? Do you want more excitement? Stick with what you do and try and ignore protestors.They are just talking about peace, love and social justice. Just try and ignore them.
One more thing: Did you tweet about a reaction to the “protestors” that the police or guards might not be “gentile”? If you see people wearing nice clothes, prayer shawls and large hats, they are not being “Gentiles”. Please be gentle with them. Shabbat Shalom.
June 14 2020
Dear Mr. President,
This will be just a quick note to thank you for caring for all Americans as much as you do. I know you were concerned when I wrote about being nauseous and, you know, I don’t need to spell it out. I’m not pregnant (that would be a real miracle) and whatever it was is gone and I’m fine. You didn’t need to call or write to check on me. I know your heart and how much it cares for all of us and how much we care about you. So, let’s discuss your health for a minute.
You have had several tough weeks of dealing with weak mayors and governors who seem to love their cities, states and citizens so much that they want to continue to help them. You have had to deal with Biblegate and defend your freedom to hold the Bible any way you want. You had to pretend not to hear Dr. Faucci warn us that the “you know what virus” isn’t over and numbers are rising in many areas. Finally, you started to plan your own events now that you realize Ivanka and Hope should not do the planning. There’s a lot on your plate. How’s your blood pressure?
It’s none of my business what medications you take (except the two weeks on the H- drug). But, surely, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure must be of some concern. Maybe the first is from your diet and lack of exercise but the second must be affected by your angry outbursts, lack of control of negative emotions and yelling or really loud tweeting. I would like to offer one solution to being so mad at so many people (besides the deep breathing that we already discussed). It has the added attraction of being fun! I used this with a lot of middle schoolers and they loved this idea. Here it is: right down the person’s name on a piece of paper. You can press really hard, even so hard that the paper rips a little. Then tear the paper into little tiny pieces and, here’s the best part, FLUSH THE PAPER DOWN THE TOILET. Right? Wasn’t that fun?
So, OKLAHOMA – O K L A H O M A. Have you been singing the song? “Where the waving wheat, can sure smell sweet, when the wind comes right behind the rain”. Is there a verse about Covid-19 and no masks, a closed environment and a lot of time for you to expel fluids?